8:46 AM - 
3 comments
3 comments
How to Cleanse a Soul
And then, bare footed, she stepped onto the black sand. The navy blue polish on her toes disappeared under the soft gravel as she took step after step towards the water. It was morning and the sun was trying to peak over the cascading hills roofed by the great sequoias in the distance. Rays of light escaped through the cracks of the world, running through the red bark and verdant leaves, and clashed with the waves, creating a sparkling, flowing heaven. The sky was still trying to determine what color to be: blue, red, yellow, orange, a soft flesh pink. The mixture of shades played above her as she finally reached the water. The sand was moist beneath her feet, sticking to her and covering her feet and ankles in a crumble paint. She watched the water as the waves crashed onto the beach and then escaped back into the ocean.
A cold water ripple darted between her toes, taking off the black sand grain by grain. She took in the fresh, humid realm as a soft ocean breeze tangled in her hair. She could smell the damp vegetation in the hidden cove and the indistinct aroma of marine life below the surface. It left a residue on her lips as she inhaled the morning’s breath into her lungs and tasted the Earth and the brine.
Then, she pulled her clothes over her head. The laced cotton dress that had kept her warm soon lay on shore and the brisk air caressed her fresh flesh, leaving goose bumps to conquer her nude body.
Without hesitation, she ran into the ocean. The cold water overcame her and left her breathless but she started to swim. She left the small cove, past sandy shoreline, and into the deep blue. She swam for as long as her arms could carry her; the acid in her muscles started to build up and burned but she kept swimming, kept pumping. The indigo liquid around her rushed past in a blur, the cold water running over her smooth skin, and drenching her hair.
She stopped when she knew that she was just a freckle on the water’s body from the shoreline. She didn’t want anyone to see her, didn’t want anyone to come after her. She missed the somber sleep of simplicity, ignorance, and imagination. Past this beach was world of industry, vanity, and lies. No one here could judge her, tell her what to do, or how to behave. This was her world, her beginning or perhaps her end but there was no way of knowing that yet.
She treaded water to keep herself up straight. Then, with a huge gulp of air, she dipped her head and began to sink down. She had her eyes open but couldn’t see far; the dark blue claimed the underworld, but she could still see some movement, dark figures, small bubbles ascending. It was strange that in this cold, isolated domain there was life frolicking in every corner. They weren’t troubled by the dangers and pains above; they floated where the waves took them and surfaced when the time was right. There was a peace here that grasped her soul and captivated her mind.
Her body began to strain, her lungs begging for air and she swam up so she could break onto the surface. She stayed there for a moment at the top of the water, watching the sandy beach, watching the saplings rustling in the ocean breeze, watching the world wake.
The waves jarred her, moving her body with the current; she let it take her as she floated on her back and watched the sky finally make its transition to royal blue. She smiled and closed her eyes, listening to the whispers of the waves and the attack of the surf on the rocks.
She liked it here; even in the cold that made her shiver terribly, she liked it. She felt the trembling surges of ocean sweep over her, washing away the grime, the sins, and slipping past the layers of her skin to eventually touch her soul. The waves pulled back, taking her with them, but leaving her cares on the shoreline for someone else to find.
3 comments:
Out of all short stories I have read from authors ranging from the bizarre Kafka to the imaginative Thompson, this is without doubt the most detailed short story to have ever graced this young Russians eyes. And for that, I give you praise.
Good piece but there were certain things about this that I have some thoughts that might make it better. You put a lot of different color names; royal blue, indigo, navy and such. It might have been more symbolic to just continue one color. Even though those are all shades of blue, you could have used just one as a consistent detail that would help the reader understand the intensity of the blue. Also maybe describe some of the conflict within herself a little more clearly to signify the cleansing better. Just thoughts though.
I like the ending. It gives it a good sensation that everything will be okay. The details are phenomenal. Gives the reader the feeling as if they are watching over her and feeling the cool water for themselves.
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